Leonardo Dicaprio

// Back again

Sun, 31 Aug 2003 10:33:46 GMT

I wish I could offer more then a simple smile and a distant glance as an explanation to why I haven’t been around lately. A lot of you have asked me where I have been, why I’ve been so sparse, but I can’t quite gather why I’ve been so absent in recent days.

It’s partially due to the recent events of the job. I’m a producer as well as the lead actor in my next project; “The Aviator.” A biopic on Howard Hughes, the billionaire, producer, industrialist and general tycoon. Martin Scorcese will be directing it, I feel quite blessed to be working with such an amazingly talented director again. It severely boosted my ego when he asked me to play Howard in it, very honored that he wanted to work with me again, it’s always a pleasure. I’d been working quite in depth with pre-production; going over budget, locations, casting, general ideas with the script and promotions. All the elements that make me smile; being apart of a film, a project, a team, which will make a hopefully brilliant picture in the end. Filming has just begun and I’ll be spending most of my time, here at home in Los Angeles. Although we will shoot some in New York as well, it’s been awhile since I’ve been to the city; well, not at all since I was last staying there with Josh, awhile back. I’m also excited to be working with Miss Gwen Stefani, in the film; she’ll be playing Jean Harlow. I haven’t talked to her in quite sometime; it’ll be nice seeing her once again.

Arg, wait...after reading this over I do feel like I could be more honest with my emotions and state my main reason for absence in the past few weeks. When Josh and I had our little rift….I really fell into some kind of emotional…zone where I didn’t want to make new friends, meet new people and especially didn’t want to be a new relationship. I was hurt, scarred, left with nothing as he took apart of me away without even knowing. But…I had just felt so abandoned and used, like perhaps I needed to wrap myself up in my work, my passion for awhile and come back to have spread new wings; which I think I have. And now I take flight on a fresh breeze from a new direction, that maybe has passed by me before from a different direction all to be recycled over again, I’m not worried about where I’ll end up, I’ll just let life take me there.

I ran into Josh at the airport the other day and it was wonderful to see him again. We’ll be seeing much more of one another from now on surely. I still do deeply care for him and hope I can help him in one way or another.

//Express yourself, dont repress yourself.

Fri, 18 Apr 2003 21:31:48 GMT

Hmm new icons. Go see.

Been busy since we started production on my next film, The Aviator, a biopic on Howard Hughes directed my Martin Scorcese. So that's been taking up the majority of my time.

Only the one that hurts you
Can make you feel better
Only the one that inflicts the pain
Can take it away

Once you put your hand in the flame
You can never be the same
There’s a certain satisfaction
In a little bit of pain
I can see you understand
I can tell that you’re the same
If you’re afraid, well rise above
I only hurt the ones I love

I don’t think you know what pain is
I don’t think you’ve gone that way
I could bring you so much pleasure
I’ll come to you when you say
I know you want me
I’m not gonna hurt you
I’m not gonna hurt you, just close your eyes

I wanna kiss you in Paris
I wanna hold your hand in Rome
I wanna run naked in a rainstorm
Make love in a train cross-country
You put this in me
So now what, so now what?

Wanting, needing, waiting
For you to justify my love

//pathos

Wed, 02 Apr 2003 01:14:26 GMT

Welcome to my heart, a vast kingdom, which door’s open to few but many at the same time. It takes no prisoners, it may fulfill your dreams or leave you torn, but all in all it’s a quiet, lonely kingdom as of late. New blood rushes in from time to time, pumping across the deep scars that have been left before, a tinge of pain, but not enough to worry about, not enough to remember. What pains it the most is for it to burn or scar others, leaving its mark, its path, illuminated by words and feelings that wish to be forgotten, driven by its scarlet red pathos.

Wrote that earlier today...a significant update later..

//for i have sinned

Sat, 29 Mar 2003 05:12:54 GMT

I've done so much thinking... about the past, lately. It's something new to me; I just used to look upon it as the things gone, but now... listening to people in love, people finding love and people suffering, my friends suffering a large range of serious emotions... and me just overlooking, observing... watching, No one can know what shoots through an individual mind, we can think and assume we do, but it's all false hope. I thoroughly enjoy seeing people being happy. It gives hope, seeing peoples emotions rotate in cycles... shows bravery if anything else. If I'm asked advice, I search backwards, to see if my life has held any significant moments that can at least help them in the slightest small way. The only people who can help us, is those who understand us. However did I deserve your friendship. Fate plays a part with us all, you never know what's around the corner.

"You see us as you want to see us... in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions." - John Hughes

I've always took that quote, as a standing point of what not to be... if I ever become someone who classifies a person into a certain category, I'd shoot myself down. We've all known people who do that in our lives, every single one of us, is sure to have done it at one point, even unadmittingly. Some learn as we grow, and never look back at it, again. Not to pass judgment... those others stay in the same place their entire lives, the place in which to look upon people, as 'weirdos', 'freaks'. The human race has always done it... ever seen t he Elephant Man? If not... you've no clue. If I'm beckoned to come and speak my mind, Norah... I'll do that as soon as possible, just don't bring up snide comments about me being the one who "hates". Just thought I’d do a little ditty on that subject. Too much hate is flying around this world lately.

Well I went downtown today and got….hold your breath folks, 8 new tattoos. I decided I wanted to do something new and different permanent for myself. So I got the seven deadly sins written in Japanese Kanji all over my body in different places… and then the knaji for love “ai” over my heart on my chest. As can be seen

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//poem

Thu, 20 Mar 2003 05:18:54 GMT

New poem i jotted down earlier today....sort of light and happy admist my current mood and the war...
----------------

Today I wore my favorite old jeans,
Tattered and torn in all the right places.
They hang loose on my hips and I’m sagging,
Dark blue boxers showing when my shirt lifts up.

My shirt is the one you love, jus a plain grey tee-shirt,
Not so different form any other.
Accept you love this one,
You say it fits me in all the right places and hangs perfectly on my frame.
It smells like the dryer, fresh and warm, the scent reminds you of me.

My hair is loose and tucked under my usual baseball cap.
It’s low over my eyes so only you can see them.
I don’t feel like looking at anyone else today, anyways.

You love me like this, simple.
Just loose and unimpressive, casual and unidentifiable.
For you this is perfect.
This is how you loved me best and I loved that about you.

We got comfy on the couch, limbs entangled together,
Laughing and eating popcorn.
We watched When Harry Met Sally.
Forgot that I knew some of the actors,
Forgot that none of it was real.
We just laughed at the diner scene and cried at the end.

It was uninhibited, natural to be there with you.
You turned to me and said three simple words,
I stuttered for a moment and you repeated them to make sure I heard.

I looked down at my jeans, all tattered and torn,
looked at the TV as the credits rolled down the screen,
and then I looked back to you with a smile on my face.
Telling you ‘I love you’ and how I was so happy that everything was where it was, in place.

Curled up in my arms, I took you away,
Into a dream that became our reality.
We were so simple, wrapped in each other arms.
As the TV’s blue light lit the dark room,
Sounds murmured and whispers spoken.

Sometimes we argue, sometimes we fight,
sometimes it’s hard to sleep at night,
when I’m not next to you.
But it’s all tolerable, and it’s helped us grow.
Stronger and closer and everyone knows we’re together, forever.

And you love me in my grey shirt and I love you when you grin and laugh at me.

I just wish I knew who you were and how to find you…

//bother

Tue, 18 Mar 2003 04:23:53 GMT

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

I’ve just being trying to figure shit out. I’m moving on, moving past, dealing with it all.
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

Won’t let go till it bleeds…

The lyrics dont really explain how I feel...right now, but they do. Thigns went better today....I'll explain in a later post tonight.

//more.

Mon, 17 Mar 2003 01:42:17 GMT

I spam.
But I feel like it. Its my journal.
Maybe Im that shallow.
But I'm obsessed with love.
And alchahol, and drugs and sex and money and fame.
And Im horrible.
And I love my friends.
And Im feeling better already.

//~dis

Mon, 17 Mar 2003 01:37:48 GMT

There are times when I wish I could just disappear.
Far away from this place of pain and hurt.
If only I could be gone.
But something in your eyes holds me back from running away.
It’s hard sometimes but now,
I’m strong enough to tell my sadness good-bye.

//roses

Mon, 17 Mar 2003 01:33:15 GMT

Taken a single rose, with a thorn I break the skin.
Hold my wrists still, let the crimson liquid drift.
A few more scratches, then i let it drop.
Crying to myself I feel no pain but in my heart.
The blood stops dripping, but my tears dont stop falling.
It drips onto the petals.. the colors paint a scarlet hue, staining the marble tiles...
while I think of you.

//someone

Mon, 17 Mar 2003 01:32:04 GMT

I need someone
I need a body
To hold, to love, to hate, to kiss, to fuck, to kill, anyone care to fill any of those positions

komm süsser tod

Thu, 13 Mar 2003 21:10:41 GMT

"Go FALL IN LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE with the next guy that talks with you, christ!"

You know what? I think I will. -shakes his head- So who wants to talk to me hmm?!?! -rolls his eyes and gets up to go his wetbar to get something to wash the feelings away-

//love

Thu, 13 Mar 2003 08:42:39 GMT

Love has its own time, season and reason. You can't ask for it to stay.You can only embrace it when it comes and be glad that for a moment in your Life, it was yours.

poetry of mine...

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 11:44:36 GMT

Now I’m going to write and show some I’ve my won poetry type lyrics…. enjoy or at least read. Please note these are all mine. [All written by myself, respectively.] Separate little poems, random thoughts.
(edit; sorry ive sorta spammed...and the long posts but im making up for lack of previous updates.. or something...heh <3)

You are my contradiction.
You make me turn on myself.
Part of me says no, part says yes.
You confuse me so much.
You make my mind short circuit.
Mix my thoughts up, to a point where
I’m having trouble unwinding them.
You make me happy, although you hurt me.
You make me cry after I smile.
I stop breathing at the sight of you,
Yet, I cant breath without you.
I cry when I think about you,
And how much I wish I were with you.
But the tears wont come unless I’m with you
I have nothing to cry,
My eyes cry nothing, they’re dry.
I can’t stand to be around you,
But I hate to be alone.
You feed me with inspiration,
You rip any heart I still had away.
I want you here with me.
I want you to be happy,
Which probably is far from me.
Love me, hate me.
I want you to be free.

Like a tree that’s its leaves in winter.
I say it will be the last heartbreak I can’t stand.
Yet with the new leaves, comes a new love.
A new season. A new heart.
The same year over and over.

I want to move closer to you.
But I’m unsure if I should.
Is it better to keep my distance and
have the hope of your love in return?
Or is it better to come out with it and
Face rejection that will lead to pain and despair.
To be naive or to know the pain?
I wish I could stay naïve a bit longer
But I have to come out and say it.

When it rains, I’m crying.
When it’s sunny, I’m smiling.
You make it cold and warm
The sun and storm.

By the time these wounds heal.
I’m sure I’ll understand why they are there.
On this mountain top so high,
I can see the angels in the sky.
I’m surprised I don’t see you there.

Don’t get me wrong.
I love you.
But it’s when you stutter in reply,
That makes me beg and cry.
To give out your soul on a platter.
As if for someone to steal away.
And have it dropped on the floor.
Shattering into a million pieces.
To slowly mend back together,
Using only my tears and words.
I don’t want you to lie.
I just want to rewind it all and
Watch it in slow motion.
To be sure my mind isn’t fooling me.
That this is what I wished wouldn’t happen.

Sometimes we could all just get away.
Step into that mirror and fall a bit into a black hole.
Come out somewhere unknown and unfamiliar.
Maybe we would discover something knew.
Each discovery is a landmark in our own timelines.
The high point of mine is when I set eyes on you.
I had no idea, but my heart knew at that very moment.
That love would come to us one day.
And I wouldn’t have to chase that white rabbit anymore.

another long assed deep post

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 11:27:54 GMT

Please, read this with care. I’m feeling so vulnerable. I never would normally admit it. But I needed a release. This was it. This is it.

When I don’t feel like looking for you anymore. Beneath all the layers of deception, there is someone. Who? Maybe I’ll never know. It’s you smile that confuses me. It’s your laugh that bewilders me. I think I know you, I’m reading you right. Wake up one morning, everything has changed since last night. When I cant read you signs, your body language, your voice, you words, your lips. When I cant find that ideal nature I saw in you before. But what remains is me. Longing for something that doesn’t exist. Yes, I fall so damn easily. But I can’t help it. You don’t even know. I don’t think I want you to. Then you’d feel sorry for how weak I am. Don’t get me wrong; I love every part of you. I don’t thing your deceiving me that much. My emotions are just toying with me.
Ever minute passes by, I swear to myself I wont think of you. I swear I wont close my eyes and imagine that you’re next to me, touching my skin, running your fingers through my hair, kissing me. Just being close to me. Its obvious I don’t lack in finding pleasure in ...things. But I like a challenge, something real.
Why is it that we always want things and people we can’t have? And aren’t happy with the things we do have and the people that do appreciate us?
It’s almost like I can’t resist turning people down who offer me their love. But I have to go for someone who has me second in their minds. Always second never first. Can I ever win?
I’m a sore loser; maybe I can’t handle rejection anymore. But we can be friends. Were important to each other. I don’t have trouble making friends. Its not that I’m not greatful for everything I have, friendships included. But maybe I’m too selfish to want to see you in any other position. I want to help people, but I can’t even help myself. I don’t try to put on a façade, some show for people to wonder at and then leave, laughing at. I can’t help but try to be more honest and more open. But every time I try, I delve deeper into the abyss that’s an illusion of love. I feel like I love them, but do I? Or do I feel I love anyone who will listen to me, anyone who will support what I say, anyone I can manipulate? Maybe I’m rambling on. Maybe this will help them understand; maybe it will confuse them further. Probably the later.
Its alarming that people seems to discard each other’s feeling so easily. Thinking everything will be okay. Its not the same as optimism, its more like doubting in a real resolution. I don’t want to hear anyone say, “I’ll be fine tomorrow. Or it’ll work itself out.” This “it” can’t work itself out, because it doesn’t live. It’s the problem, the argument, and the cause. It doesn’t have real emotions like the people involved do.
I’m coming off bitchy. I don’t mean to. But..I’m angry, confused, hurt, denied, and addicted. Forever will everyone say things they don’t mean. I wish I knew what I meant. I don’t mean anything. I act. A superfluous job. Unnecessary in this world. I know some could argue that point, but today, lets not.
I can’t handle myself, that’s my problem. Its not that I cant back the words I say. At least in most cases. It's that what I feel I can do. I wont say, in fear of ruining what we already have established. I want to stand face to face with you, look into your eyes. And without saying a word, have you understand everything I feel. And with a touch, you feel it too.
Call me stupid, careless, selfish, wrong, in love. Nothing is changing what I think of you right now. My feeling could evolve into something else. But it wont be you or anyone else changing them.
I don’t want this to be ignored though. But I don’t want pity. On the other hand I do. I want attention. I want your attention. I want to be what you think of everyday. I want to be like that. The way I feel, reflected. I feel like a broken record. Like I’m repeating myself already. Bare with me.
People would argue that I couldn’t love you. We don’t know each other well enough, long enough…what is enough? I don’t believe in love at first site. But I believe that it can come close to it. Over and over, I think of the reason I shouldn’t love you. But why should I have to convince myself, that my emotions are lying? I shouldn’t and still I don’t know what I love.
It’s so emotional, yet the physicality of it is important as well. Not in a completely pleasure oriented way, in a connected, closeness kind of way. I want to express what I cant in words, through my touch. There is a difference in just fucking around compared to making love. There’s a difference between doing something and being apart of something. If you’re not emotionally there, then you are not truly a part of it, but merely doing it.
Surprise, I have a heart too. I act like I don’t sometimes. The heart isn’t always the right thing to listen to though; it can be too deceiving, too trusting of the unknown. The mind isn’t the right thing to listen to either, it over thinks the situation, the moment. But listening to the soul first. What is your soul? I don’t know. I don’t even want to know. But can I trust it. Yes. And I don’t even know what it’s supposed to be. Why would it be right? Because it always seems to be. I don’t not make decisions based on what my mind tells me or my heart feels. But I think the soul encompasses them both, and is something a bit higher. I think my heart is too easily persuaded and maybe I do listen to it too often. But my mind stops me from just saying whatever comes to me because I feel it would make a situation uncomfortable, or would come off as something false or stupid. And I don’t like people thinking of me lowly. I have a bit of an ego problem.
Why am I typing all this down? I don’t know, it’s therapeutic. It helps, although it just makes me yearn more.
I cant eat right, I cant sleep right. My entire body aches for yours. My speech is stuttered, my heart beats faster. I feel stronger and weaker. I’m less and more of a good person. My heart confuses me. Yet, I think I finally understand it. Sometimes when I think of you I smile, at other times I can cry. You star in all my dreams both good ones and nightmares. It moves me that you do this to me. Why? Maybe I’m obsessed. It’s this confusion that makes me think straight. When someone can make me this confused, it’s something special. In a very good way.
I do really care for your happiness and what and who you care for. But I’d be lying if I said I’d be happy with you being happy. Probably because I think I can make you happier. Happiness is another fickle subject though. I won’t start on that tonight
. I want this to help, but I’m sure it will just end up making you confused even more so. I hope you are happy though….really I do. I’m moving on from right now. I shouldn’t have ever….well everything. I mean….god, I don’t know. I’m undeserving of anyones company, especially yours. But I want to remain your friend…trying. I’m sorry.

I want to end this with one more thing:
Un baiser. Embrasser moi. Je t’aime..

...empty heart

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 11:13:48 GMT

The following post is a mishmash of different feelings all contorting themselves at once to my finger across the letter into words… and into this post I may exaggerate, underestimate, translate or just blab on about shit. Listen, maybe you’ll learn something knew about me, or at least feel something. The post is also peppered with lyrics from songs…read them… there not long… I typed them up… they mean a lot to me. They add to the meaning of the post.

…And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on, she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums

But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can't hear me
When I say softly, slowly

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today

-‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton John

Something about this song… ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton john…that makes me want to cry or cry every time I hear it. The lyrics, the melody, the piano, and the guitar... everything is just so right about it. I love the way Cameron Crowe used it In Almost Famous too/
Every now and then I feel like I am invincible. And every now and then I feel I am worth nothing. I’ve yet to find the right balance in between. That some couldn’t live without some and me could do without me.

Wish I could prove I love you,
But does that mean I have to walk...on water?
When we are older your understand it’ enough
When I say so.
And maybe some things are that simple.

When you walk away,
You don’t hear me say “Please oh baby, don’t go.”
Simple and clean is the way
That you’re making me feel tonight.
It’s hard to let it go.

Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning
Is a little later on.
Regardless of warming the future doesn’t scare me at all.
Nothing’s like before.

-‘Simple & Clean’ by Hikaru Utada

Why both of these songs have choruses that mention someone asking to be held…coincidence I guess. Maybe it’s just what I need to be held. Need to have someone’s arms draped around me, nothing more, and nothing less. Just that. I sound so pitiful, wanting to be ‘held’ and all. By someone that doesn’t exist. Someone who doesn’t care. Someone who doesn’t know. I sound like some loser who never has a girl/guy and cant get one. That’s not particularly my problem…although at the time nothing is going my way in that category. It’s the thought that no one really wants me anymore. Well not that. More like me thinking about if I’m even worth someone else’s tie and affection. I have so many problems, most fixable. But I lack that motivation that love brings. Not to say I don’t have people I love me and I, them in return. But not the kind of love that makes me want to quit all my bad habits and completely rethink my life.

Your faith in me brings me to tears
Even after all these years
And it pains me so much to tell
That you don’t know me that well

It’s not that I wanna say goodbye
It’s just that every time you try
To tell me, me that you love me
Each and every single day I know
I’m going to have to eventually give you away

And though my love is real,
and though my love is true.

-‘Like a Bird’ by Nelly Furtado

For some reason at this very moment, every joint in my body is aching. Like each is burning and crying for me to sleep. But of course, I don’t listen to myself. I wish I knew what I wanted and whom I wanted. Why I wanted it. The other day TObey told me he thinks I over think things. Maybe he’s right. But I don’t see any harm in trying to figure out who I am, and what I want. I could forget everything and be happy. But I’ve done that for the past 27 years of my life, I think its time for a change. My life seems to revolve around love. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic; maybe I’m in it for the sex too. I’m in it for all aspects. I wont lie about that. I’m like Romeo, but less stupid. Well maybe not. Love is what motivates many of the stupid things I do. In one form or another. Love is my conviction. Like Christian in Moulin Rouge, I’m in love with the idea of love. No matter how many times I think or thought I was in love and am let go, let down or wrong about it. I decide to be optimistic about it rather then saying ‘love sucks and it doesn’t exist.’ I may not come off to optimistic about it, but in my mind its what’s going on.

Layla, you've got me on my knees.
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.
Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind.

I tried to give you consolation
When your old man had let you down.
Like a fool, I fell in love with you,
Turned my whole world upside down.

Let's make the best of the situation
Before I finally go insane.
Please don't say we'll never find a way
And tell me all my love's in vain.

-‘Layla’ by Eric Clapton

Its not that I’m completely depressed all the time. Not that at all, but just about every other day I don’t feel like living… not in suicidal way, but in a ‘I don’t want to speak, move, listen or see anything…. if its not how it is in my dreams’ kind of way. Selfish, yes. Unrealistic, no. I don’t wish for a perfect life. I have an incredible life. But I always yearn for more, like any person does. Reaching for goals isn’t a crime. Love is the ultimate goal for most people. I’d like to get married some time, maybe have a kid or two. I don’t know with who or when. But someday. I toss the word love around loosely. But never do I say it with out meaning it. It’s just to what degree to I mean. Love had so many different levels. I love certain aspects about those I love, they know who they are.

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

-‘More Than Words’ by Extreme

I think life is too short to not say ‘I love you.’ More often. To your friends, your family, your ‘love.’ I feel loved. But I think it’s understood by now that I’m looking and yearning for something I can’t have. But one day will achieve hopefully.

...

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 11:00:56 GMT

I guess I want what I cant have, I'm nothing like the rest.
And forever more I'll always be, only second best.

rise and fall...

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 04:50:48 GMT

Download this song here...

I always said that I was gonna make it,
Now it's plain for everyone to see,
But this game I'm in don't take no prisoners,
Just casualties.
I know that everything is gonna change,
Even the friends I knew before me go,
But this dream is the life I've been searching for,
Started believing that I was the greatest,
My life was never gonna be the same,
Cause with the money came a different status,
That's when things change,
Now I'm too concerned with all the things I own,
Blinded by all the pretty girls I see,
I'm beginning to lose my integrity

Sometimes in life you feel the fight is over,
And it seems as though the writings on the wall,
Superstar you finally made it,
But once your picture becomes tainted,
It's what they call,
The rise and fall

I never used to be a troublemaker,
Now I don't even wanna please the fans,
No autographs,
No interviews,
No pictures,
And less demands.
Given advice that was clearly wrong,
The type that seems to make me feel so right,
But some things you may find can take over your life,
Burnt all my bridges now I've run out of places,
And there's nowhere left for me to turn,
Been caught in comprimising situations,
I should have learned.
From all those times I didn't walk away,
When I knew that it was best to go,
Is it too late to show you the shape of my heart?

Now I know,
I made mistakes,
Think I don't care,
But you don't realise what this means to me
So let me have,
Just one more chance,
I'm not the man I used to be,
Used to be

The rise and fall…

Ill do a real update later...

Three to tango...

Tue, 11 Mar 2003 05:49:47 GMT

It's not ~~her~~ fault that ~~she's~~ so irresistible
But all the damage ~~she's~~ caused isn't fixable
Every twenty seconds you repeat ~~her~~ name
But when it comes to me you don't care
If I'm alive or dead

So objection I don't wanna be the exception
to get a bit of your attention
I love you for free and I'm not your mother
But you don't even bother
Objections I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
no way I've got to get away

~~Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal~~
That's why infront of your eyes I'm invisible
But you gotta know small things also count
You better put your feet on the ground
And see what it's about

I wish there was a chance for you and me
I wish you couldn't find a place to be
away from here!

This is pathetic and sardonic
It's sadistic and psychotic
Tango is not for three,
was never meant to be
but you can try it,
rehearse it,
or train it like a horse
but don't you count on me
Oh don't you count on me boy!

I'm falling apart in your hands again
get away

Fuck

Mon, 10 Mar 2003 20:46:36 GMT

Fuck it all. I've messed things up, I'm a bastard, what else is new? I'm just some "pretty-boy actor." I wouldnt know... since I dont have emotions....

First update. Super.

Fri, 07 Feb 2003 23:27:58 GMT

Mmm, the ever stupid first post. Well, I'm Leo Dicaprio...I've been acting since I was really young. I've been in a bunch of films including, What's Eatign Gilbert Grape? , Baz Luhman's version of Romeo + Juliet, This Boys Life, Titanic, The Man In The Iron Mask, The Basketball Diaries, The Beach, and most recently I've been in Steve Spielberg's Catch Me If YOu Can, which has enarly grossed 200 million bucks so far and in which I got a Golden Globe nomination for best actor in a drama. And In Martin Scorcese's epic Gangs Of New York. Both of those latter two are out now, go see them. Heh.

You can catch me at Leonardo W DC and yea... Im not sure what else to say. Ohh go to my official webpage at www.leonardodicaprio.com and that will lead you to my foundation for wildlife preservation. I'm dedicated to helping and speaking on behalf of organizations that help save our planet. Anyways... yea.